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Attention: Post Whores IX - Whores have nine lives

 
Old Jul 10, 2018, 04:28 AM
  #1606  
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That food under the dragon looks delicious.
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 05:21 AM
  #1607  
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Back at work, I am utterly miserable. I pulled a muscle in my hip last night at martial arts and I am in a great deal of pain. I'd really love to leave, but there is no way I can without causing a great deal of work for someone else. I can sit, I just have to walk around like an old man and be as unstable as a newborn deer. Eff this noise, eff it right in its effing face.
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 05:54 AM
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I'm beginning to think "martial arts" is a euphemism lol
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 06:10 AM
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nope, I am actually going to Martial Arts classes, if I was getting that much squishy, I'd die of dehydration.
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by otter View Post
WTF this infinite scroll thing is confusing and ****ing dumb.
Turn that **** off ASAP
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by ambystom01 View Post
Reminds me of the game I was in (DM got fed up and we moved to a new one) where we managed to convince the orc king we were trying to depose to give us exclusive hops rights in the kingdom and convinced the army of dwarves we were working for to turn the fortress we were building into a brewery. It became a brewery simulator, we didn't do anything but sit there and argue over recipes and taxes and such.
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Old Jul 10, 2018, 03:38 PM
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That sounds more fun than all but a handful of D&D campaigns I was in.
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Old Jul 11, 2018, 08:43 AM
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I never played D&D

just sitting here at work, miserable.
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Old Jul 11, 2018, 08:50 AM
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All of our campaigns are kind of like that. We do our best to derail everything and make the DM angry. That's why we rotate DMs frequently. We also have one guy who's main goal is to wipe the whole party except himself but to make it look like it wasn't intentional. He's also our rules lawyer, so he pulls it off about once a year. Some other examples of screwing with the DM was my female dread pirate who had a solid gold folding boat (he allowed it because you need a minimum boat value to qualify for the class and the area had no water other than a small lake) kept in a bag of holding, and she would flick the bag to throw the boat out, it would unfold and crush all our enemies. Also handy for blocking passageways so we didn't get surrounded in dungeons. That character also hit an improbably string of crits on charisma rolls and convinced Jarlaxl, who is big joojoo if you haven't read the books, to do our entire campaign for us using his mercenaries plus he gave me some of his magic items making me pretty OP. Funniest part was that I didn't read the books so had no idea who he was, and when I said I wanted to roll to convince him to help us everyone groaned and threw stuff at me because they assumed I'd fail and he would kill all of us. We still haven't picked that campaign back up and it's been like 2 year
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Old Jul 11, 2018, 10:50 AM
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I DMed a Star Wars campaign and the party was basically a bunch of pirates (with a Jedi on board). They stole a really sweet ship at one point, and I set up an Imperial blockade with 2 giant cruisers (a step down from Star Destroyers) to try to capture the ship back... Star Wars RPG used the D6 system, so rolling a 6 meant a re-roll and add the effect. Rolling 3D6 averaged something like 11, but could go much higher than 18. So I gave the guy piloting the ship a difficulty 30 task to evade the first cruiser, and he rolled two 6s and a 5 on a 3D6 roll, and ended up with 31. I let it happen because whatever, there's ANOTHER giant cruiser sitting there. So the player running the main turret gun goes and has a 3D6 to hit something like an 18 difficulty, with 6D6 damage (on a ship where doing 22 damage would barely hurt it because of the shields). So of course he rolls a natural 18 on his attack roll, and ends up doing a critical attack (bypassing the shields), and then rolls like 35 damage, effectively disabling it. They were ^5ing each other like mad.

The only saving grace was that the Jedi screwed up the navigation roll when they went to hyperspace so I sent them to a really ****ty system... where they crashed the ship on a string of failed rolls.
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Old Jul 11, 2018, 03:19 PM
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We're doing a Pathfinder where we are all humunculi taking over the stone race that has the expansion slots, and we can GTA to new ones if we want or ours gets killed. My barb went all in on Cleave with big 2 handers, and the DM is using one token for each squad of 6, so I convinced him that technically now I should be able to cleave everyone in the square then cleave to the next square, and since I hit so hard that they die in one hit I have killed like 40 guys with each massive cleave Once I started doing it, I just walked through his entire army. I'm sure he will change it up next session, but it was pretty funny.
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Old Jul 12, 2018, 06:10 AM
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So I left work yesterday after lunch. Boss gave us an hour for lunch as opposed to our normal 30 minutes, we went to a Mexican restaurant. I wanted a margarita, didn't get it. I ate like a pig and felt really bad afterwards. Also, we had a contractor in the office working and sawing and drilling and working on electrical things, which when they have errors, make an annoying beep. It beeped for well over 2 hours before I couldn't take it anymore. I left. I got home and immediately went to bed. Wapce said I was asleep right as soon as my head hit the pillow. That was a problem since I don't nap (like, ever) and I ended up staying awake well into the night. Wapce went to this writers thing, where her and a bunch of aspiring writers bounce ideas off one another, I stayed home with the kids. They went to bed and I started playing GTA V and ended up finishing the game. She showed up at around 11pm, I couldn't sleep. I forced myself to go to sleep again at 1am, knowing the alarm was going to go off at 5am. I am again tired and irritable, and I don't want to be here, I need another vacation.
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Old Jul 12, 2018, 06:18 AM
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I took an accidental nap yesterday as well. Melatonin was key for going to sleep last night.
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Old Jul 12, 2018, 08:28 AM
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Oh, I slept so hard too. I was KO'd. I crashed at about 3pm and woke up at 530pm when wapce was leaving, dog woke up and wanted to go out, then heard that the dog urinated on the floor in front of the door since no one let her out. Apparently when I tell the kid to let the dog out, they ignore me for whatever was on the Disney channel.
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Old Jul 12, 2018, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by DonHugo View Post
Wapce went to this writers thing, where her and a bunch of aspiring writers bounce ideas off one another, I stayed home with the kids.
I went to an S2000 meet long ago in Knoxville (Dragon territory). We ended up sharing our hotel with the East Tennessee Romance Writers Guild or something like that. Basically 30 or 40 of the most overweight, unattractive, sex-deprived women you'll ever meet. Slump buster heaven.

Some of the S2000 club members were, uhh, reported to hotel staff for comments made comparing them to certain aquatic mammals....

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