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Attention: Post Whores IX - Whores have nine lives

 
Old Jan 8, 2019, 12:43 PM
  #2206  
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WSB, I'm looking for suggestions/recommendations for 18+ all-inclusive resorts in Mexico or the Carribbean area, if you have any insight. I owe the wife another good vacation this year, particularly since I'm going to Ireland without her.
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 11:13 AM
  #2207  
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Originally Posted by otter View Post
WSB, I'm looking for suggestions/recommendations for 18+ all-inclusive resorts in Mexico or the Carribbean area, if you have any insight. I owe the wife another good vacation this year, particularly since I'm going to Ireland without her.
Some thoughts, in no particular order:

- Don't limit yourself to 18+ places, as they tend to be more expensive and not always better. A lot of the bigger "family" places will have facilities to separate kids from adults - kids' pools, slides, supervised play areas, etc. The advantages is that they'll also have more adult stuff - multiple pools, multiple bars, multiple restaurants, more toys (e.g. Hobiecats you can take out), more stuff happening.
- The advantage of the 18+ places is obviously no ****ing kids anywhere. The downside is they tend to be smaller and not particularly active. That might be what you want, of course.
- Look for swim up bars. Seriously, I can't overstate the importance of being able to drink in the pool.
- Avoid the "bargain" places. They're usually horrible.
- If you're looking at tripadvisor, use the bathrooms as a filter. It's easy to make the room look nice, but if people are posting pictures of dingy bathrooms, the entire facility will be bad. Nice bathroom with a good shower/showerhead? Probably a place with a competent maintenance crew. Learned this one the hard way last time in PVR.
- Public/Private beach - Mexico doesn't have much in the way of private beaches (I think it's not legal), so you will get to deal with vendors selling you **** all day, non stop. Jamaica has private beaches, which are patrolled. Not sure about the DR, but the resorts are scattered so it's probably not a huge issue either way.

Places I've been:
- Cancun / Mexico (CUN). Basically a big city with a beach. Very much a party atmosphere. Lots of chain restaurants, so if you want Chiles or Applebees while you're in Mexico, this is the place for you. Southwest does direct AUS-CUN flights, so there's that. There are a LOT of resorts to pick from. English is pretty much standard. I only half jokingly refer to Cancun as "Myrtle Beach, but with better English". Public beaches, but the vendors aren't super annoying because there are so many people and so much beach for them to cover. The vast majority of the people will be American and Canadian.
- Playa Del Carmen / Mexico (CUN). South Cancun. Much less big city feel, still close enough to the airport, still doesn't feel very authentic. The beach tends to be a little cleaner, and the waves not as oppressive because it's shielded by Cozumel.
- Tulum / Mexico (CUN). Far south Cancun. Actually feels like being Mexico (i.e. people actually speak Spanish). Longer bus ride down the highway, but reasonable. Still close to the touristy stuff in the jungle. The beach can be hit or miss (mainly because they're real beaches rather than dredged sand like Cancun/PDC tends to be).
- Puerto Vallarta / Mexico (PVR). Older city, smaller resorts, not a lot of all inclusives to pick from, but it's a MUCH more interesting city to explore. Very walkable, lots of unique bars/restaurants floating around. The beach is public and frankly, not all that great - very course and the water gets deep fast, plus proximity to town means TONS of vendors selling crap and sketchy food. Close to lots of touristy jungle ****. Great for tequila tasting, as all legit tequila comes from Jalisco, the state that PVR is in. Unlike Cancun, a lot of Mexicans vacation here. Also, because a lot of Mexicans vacation here, finding an 18+ might be a challenge. None of the places I stayed were adults only (Hilton, Buenaventura, San Marino Vallarta). That last one (San Marino) was a total ****ing dump. Don't go there.
- Nuevo Vallarta / Mexico (PVR). North of PVR, basically the big AI resorts are here. Better beaches (dredge sand and more gradual), I think they're still public, but because of the distance they're not as heavily patrolled by vendors. Getting into the city is a reasonably taxi/uber ride, so it's not a big deal.
- Negril / Jamaica (MBJ). West Jamaica has fantastic private beaches, but it's also an actual ****hole country. Do not go anywhere near Kingston (SE corner of the country). English is the standard language. Everyone will have their hand out expecting a tip, no matter how trivial the task was. Exploring is sketchy, getting around is sketchy (at least it was the first time I was there). The airport also seems to be painfully expensive to get into and out of. I stayed in an area called Bloody Bay, which is sheltered from the worst waves and thus has some of the better ocean swimming. There's a Sandals there (18+ couples-only), and a Hedonism if you want to see ugly people naked.
- Belize City / Belize (BEZ). Similar to Cancun - big city with a beach. English is the legal language. They don't do AI resorts much in Belize, they tend to be more European. Great place for SCUBA, fishing, etc. I also went to Placencia which has pretty good beaches, but it's really an ex-pat retirement area more than anything (my aunt and uncle retired there).

Places I haven't been, and thus am likely talking out my *** on:
Cabo / Mexico (SJD). From what I've seen/heard, this is one of the cooler small town feel places. Rubbish beach. Great (sea)food. Another airport with direct flights from AUS on Southwest.
Cozumel / Mexico (CUN). Island off the coast from Playa Del Carmen. Less crazy because you're on an island. Resorts are leeward so swimming in the ocean is better. It's harder to get to because it's an island.
Mazatlan / Mexico (MZT). A bigger city but with a lot fewer American tourists. Don't know much about it. I think the drug trade is prevalent here and thus the tourism market has fallen off. Do not recommend.
Punta Cana / DR (PUJ). Much more European, the resorts are European chains, but still a fair number of AI. Good beaches. Fewer Americans (this is a positive, trust me). If it wasn't such a pain in the *** to get to from Seattle, this would be high on my list of future destinations.

There are a lot of other places, but the All Inclusive concept tends to not exist at most of them. If you don't care about the beach/swimming in the ocean, knowing you and Kaia, my recommendation would probably be Cabo, PVR, or Tulum. PVR is my personal favorite of these, but direct flights (even if they are on Southworst) make Cabo and Tulum appealing. If the beach is important, I'd probably say Punta Cana, PDC, Negril.
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 11:14 AM
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****, that should have been like, 15 separate posts.
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 11:14 AM
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Twitter style, 140 characters at a time
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 01:11 PM
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That's incredibly helpful, thanks!
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 01:31 PM
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And I have no idea whether beaches would be important but ocean quality certainly is. We're likely going to go get ourselves SCUBA certified so we can do some diving.
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 01:40 PM
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I'd probably go with PDC then. There's good reef diving around Cozumel, and the Riviera Maya region has a lot of cenote diving which is a thing you can do if you don't mind diving in pitch black caves. The beaches are good, the ocean is fine.

Belize would also be a good choice, with the caveat that AI resorts are scarce.
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Old Jan 9, 2019, 07:35 PM
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I'm thinking about trading the Taco in on a GT350. Looks like there are a couple places about 400 miles out into the desert with them for under MSRP, the place here is asking $60k markup. $120k haha. I want to test drive one though, and the guy I know who's kid had one I think sold it.
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Old Jan 10, 2019, 01:54 PM
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Didn't you already have a Mustang?
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Old Jan 11, 2019, 09:14 AM
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... and he swore off Fords too
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Old Jan 11, 2019, 09:24 AM
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WSB breaking out travel agent advice. Nice work.
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Old Jan 11, 2019, 11:31 AM
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Vacationing is what I do for a living
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Old Jan 11, 2019, 11:52 AM
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This might be the most amazing use of an Evo as a prop I've ever seen.

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Old Jan 12, 2019, 07:19 AM
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Yay! Snow!
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Old Jan 14, 2019, 08:06 AM
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