just an update It has been a while but....
I managed to get a spare ecu our of russia after months of it sitting in some shipping warehouse somewhere.

I fitted it to my car and I have flashed it with an evo5 rom and the car starts and runs be it a bit rough as I dont have the amf injectors cams etc from the car fitted, but i can drive it it is just stuck in third gear with flashing park and neurtal lights on the dash (this means gearbox limp mode so I have read).

There must be some interaction between the two processors on the ecu I think I now need to check for any fault codes, im guessing evo scan will get me some fault codes that may offer me some insight as to why.
I did see than in the evo7gta and airtrek the speed sensor had to be changed as the signal is different from the auto and manual and the speedo would not operate.