crap so I gotta have a clean car on Sunday.

 

15 Mistakes women make when having sex

1. BEING PASSIVE - Don't let him undress you and
himself. Just help him a little bit: like making the first step. Just
because we are men it doesn't mean that we must do all the job.

2. WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS - It takes time
to take off these kind of clothes. Every second counts. Remember one
thing, the more time you got, the more rounds you got, and the more rounds you got the more satisfied you get.

3. GOING DOWN HALFWAY - Once you start going down, don't stop at the belly
button, keep going or just don't go past the neck at all.

4. CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN - Men feel pain, we are not as tough as you think.
No man has a leather dick. You got to be smooth with the dick. Pulling it too
hard doesn't make us feel horny, it hurts even though we don't tell you.

5. LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH - It's just the same as a dog licking a hctibs ***.

6. MOANING LIKE A RUNNER THAT NEEDS AIR - Better moan with style girls cause men love to make fun of girls who can't moan like movie stars. Try not to make much noise when you exhale.

7. SCRATCHING HIS BACK - We don't need no autographs, girls. It does not
feel good at all. Depend on the length of nail and how deep you dig them in
our backs so keep your nails in you pockets please. If you feel the need to
scratch a boys back, either grip the hell out of the sheets or the headboard.

8. LETTING YOUR HAIR FALL IN HIS FACE - Men need air, they breath.

9. JUMPING ON HIPS TO HARD - A man is not a horse so please take it easy
unless you got a big booty to take care of the landing.

10. SCREAMING TO LOUD WHEN YOU *** - Are you crazy? Do you want us to get
caught by your parents? Or do you just love seeing me jump through the window
butt naked.

11. KEEP YORSELF CLEAN! - Everyone knows that fish is the smell. But we don't have to be smelling it when you take your panties off. Please warn us if you haven't freshened up. And nobody wants to suck on salty dirty *******. Men aren't the only ones who sweat. And we sure don't want you smellin like you work at a fish market either. Make sure your *** is clean!!! No man wants to eat off a dirty plate.

12. MAKE SURE YOUR FEET ARE IN CHECK - Every man has a certain turn on, everything on a woman must be perfect, thats how we like it. Do not, I repeat do not get in bed with us with your feet looking like you were walking bare foot on toxic waste. You know what i am talkin about, nail polish coming off halfway,
smelly as hell, uneven toe nails, soles feeling like sandpaper. Its hard to perform good foreplay with that. And don't even think about asking us to suck your toes when they look like they have been beaten with a sledge hammer(ugly)and we are not to fonder of unpolished toes either. We like them soft, pretty, and tasty looking.

13. GIVING HEAD - Don't use your teeth! remember toppings are always good

14. AFTER SEX BROADCASTING - Don't go bragging to your friends saying that you have us so called "whipped" its not cool at all, especially when his friends are around. If a man is "whipped" he won't admit it.

15. KEEP IT REAL - When you're at the point of breakin up, don't wait until then to tell us we didn't knock it right. You know damn well we had you cl! imbing the walls and walking on air.

 

come on man, you gotta make her look pretty to show her off

 

A dirty car is an angry car.

 

Yes and a clean car is a happy car.

 

Well I like my women bltchy and resentful.

 

And I like my women like my light bulbs.... White and not too bright.

 

as opposed to yellow and attracting mosquitos?

 

 

This place has degenerated way too much. I'm leaving until it's safe.

 

Don't go!!!!!! If you leave!

 

Here is more to add!!!!


WORDS WOMEN USE

******************************

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes.Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

 

True True

 

This is also true

But this is just plain phucked up

 

You know you enjoy it.........dont deny it, lady bimmer will not spank you if are here....unless you want her too FREAK A LEEK!

Oh I must warn you though.....be on the look out for ***** IN A BOX!!!!!