Ok.... Somehow managed to bump it dropping my downpipe. Got a spark when doing so and now the car is completely dead. Did this somehow drain out my battery? Should I expect to have to replace the starter too? Haven't had a chance to jump it yet. I worked on it all day yesterday and went to get something out of the trunk. This is when I realized that my keyfob didn't work, no lights, no juice at all.... Advice/opinions?

 

look for the fusible link--it should be under the hood, I just don't know where it is on the evo. but its the main fuse for the car and if it blows due to short, as in your case- everything goes dead. Check in out.

 

First rule when working on your car...Disconnect the figgin battery.

 

It was disconnected, but come to find out it had found it's way back to the terminal. Fail...!

 

Another Cheyenne EVO!
Check for a blown fuse. Try switching to another good battery and see if it works(Or take your battery to Advance Auto and have them test it).

 

The main positive battery terminal has a built in fuseable link on it, start there.