TEMEVO/SFL
Evolving Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 198
Likes: 0
From: inna deh shadows
Mid afternoon joke
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support
employee (now I know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Tell them you're too KCUFING stupid to own a computer."
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support
employee (now I know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Tell them you're too KCUFING stupid to own a computer."
Last edited by MephistoKnight; Aug 1, 2004 at 01:17 PM.
hey everyonw whats going on.. my name is gabe.
i`m the one at the autoX down in homestead. with the white RS..
ill be down at the meet on the 22nd. also who lives by broward that would be going down there? so we can ride together
for the guys at the autoX.. you guys are cool as sh*t..... thx for everythign..
and i`m looking forward to the next autoX
i`m the one at the autoX down in homestead. with the white RS..
ill be down at the meet on the 22nd. also who lives by broward that would be going down there? so we can ride together
for the guys at the autoX.. you guys are cool as sh*t..... thx for everythign..
and i`m looking forward to the next autoX
Originally Posted by gabesir
hey everyonw whats going on.. my name is gabe.
Welcome to the forum. I met you at the AutoX. I am Scott, the guy with the silver Evo. What's Up?? 22nd is autox in Hialeah, right? Why don'y you make it on the 7th for the TEMEVO meet. PRVRT will probably post up the schedule within a day or two. Meet the rest of the Evo-maniacs.
Anyway.... Later.
PS who took that picture man? they really ought to try to not take a picture when there is a fence in the way. Try this one. PRVRT took it. Good thing about Perverts is that they always have a camera handy.
Last edited by Scooter; Aug 1, 2004 at 06:55 PM.
Originally Posted by LoboEvo
Hey everyone just 13 more days to NOPI! Scooter how long did it take you guys to install the short shifter in PRVRT's car?
Everyone else have a great week and see you guys at NOPI
Late
Everyone else have a great week and see you guys at NOPI
Late
hey the 7th? well someone let me know!! here is my cell # 754 2461218
also yeah i have a pic like that too!!
but the funny thing about the pic i post look close at the rear left wheel! lol zoom it! you can see the other side......
ok cool call or pm me. thx
also yeah i have a pic like that too!!
but the funny thing about the pic i post look close at the rear left wheel! lol zoom it! you can see the other side......
ok cool call or pm me. thx
Evolving Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 100
Likes: 0
From: Jupiter
Good Morning All,
Well, went to Ft. Pierce for the autox yesterday and I got within .8 seconds of Kiko. You consider that I ran in stock and his is in Street Prepared (And prepared right) I think that this is impressive for the EVO.
He had FTD until my bro Greg got it in the S2000. Kiko had also practiced all day on Saturday and I haven't been in mine in months. The nice thing was that we got 6 runs each.
It was a fun day, and I got to do some real testing and tuning of the car. I now know what needs to be done. Well, I'm going back to work, just wanted to give you an update from the weekend.
Well, went to Ft. Pierce for the autox yesterday and I got within .8 seconds of Kiko. You consider that I ran in stock and his is in Street Prepared (And prepared right) I think that this is impressive for the EVO.
He had FTD until my bro Greg got it in the S2000. Kiko had also practiced all day on Saturday and I haven't been in mine in months. The nice thing was that we got 6 runs each.
It was a fun day, and I got to do some real testing and tuning of the car. I now know what needs to be done. Well, I'm going back to work, just wanted to give you an update from the weekend.
Evolving Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 405
Likes: 0
From: Miami
***update***
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM August 7, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***SSKILLA's B-Day Party*** Unknown where it going to be! Friday August 13, 2004
Dr Evo
Elemental Evo
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***NOPI*** Sunday August 15, 2004 Moroso MotorSports Park, Meeting at Pembroke Lakes Mall at 7-7:30AM leaving the mall at 8AM(This one I have to put together so the more ppl that actually want to participate, the better! This way I can ask them for a spot before we even go and tell them to hold it for us!!
2004 NOPI Drag Racing Series Schedule:
Saturday
8:00am Contestant and Vendor Gates Open
Pro Pits and Show Registration Open
8:30am
9:00am USAC and db Drags Sound Open
9:30am
10:00am Manufacturers Midway Opens
Spectator Gates Open
10:30am NDRA Tech Opens
11:00am
11:30am
12:00pm Music, DJ's and Games (Main Stage)
NOPI Open Session Drag Racing
12:30pm
1:00pm
1:30pm
2:00pm 1st Round Pro Qualifying
2:30pm 1st Round Swimsuit Competition
3:00pm
3:30pm 1st Round Sportsman Qualifing
4:00pm Street Racing Open Session
4:30pm
5:00pm Burnout Contest
5:30pm NDRA 2nd Round Pro Qualifying
6:00pm
6:30pm Casting Call: NOPI TunerVision NOPI Model Search
2nd Round Sportsman Class Qualifying
7:00pm 2nd Round Swimsuit Competition
7:30pm NOPI NIGHTS Street Drags
NOPI After Dark Party w/JBird
NOPI Freak Show Foam Party
Open Mic
Jello Wrestling
8:00pm NOPI Light The Night Neon Competition
8:30pm
9:00pm
9:30pm
10:00pm End of Racing
10:30pm
11:00pm Event Closes
11:30pm
12:00am Secure Track
Sunday
8:00am Contestant and Vendor Gates Open
8:30am
9:00am NDRA Tech Opens
Fast Tracks NDRA Church Service
9:30am
10:00am Spectator Gates Open
10:30am Final Round Pro Qualifying
11:00am Final Round Sportsman Qualifying
Music, Djs & Games (Main Stage)
11:30am
12:00pm Open Session Street Racing
12:30pm
1:00pm 1st Round Pro & Sportsman Eliminations (if field exceeds 8 Cars)
1:30pm 1st Round Eliminations: Pro, Sportsman & Street Classes
2:00pm
2:30pm
3:00pm 2nd Round Eliminations: Pro, Sportsman & Street Classes
3:30pm Casting Call: NOPI TunerVision
Burnout Contest
4:00pm Finals: Swimsuit Contest
4:45pm
5:00pm FINAL Eliminations in All Classes
5:30pm NDRA Awards: All Classes
5:45pm NOPI NATIONALS Series 2004 Show Awards
6:00pm
2004 NOPI Drag Racing Series Pricing:
NDRA Memberships:
NDRA Membership Includes membership, membership card, stickers - $25.00
Deluxe NDRA Membership:
Includes membership, membership card, stickers, official NDRA Shirt, special membership pricing on NOPI Merchandise - $50.00
Race Entry:
Pro Class - Two Day Pass (driver and two crew members) - $65.00
Street Racer - Two Day Pass (driver and car only) - $65.00
Open Session Saturday (driver and car only) - $35.00
Car Show:
Show Contestant (driver and passenger) -$65.00
Additional show classes (Burnout, Sound Quality, SPL, etc) - $30.00
Admissions:
Weekend Pass - $40.00
Single Day Pass - $25.00
Children (6-12) - $5.00
Children under 6 - free
**According to NOPI website**
__________________________________________________ _______________
Dr Evo
Elemental Evo
EVO_ATE_U
Ghost22
gtlimer
Jonasan50
LoboEvo
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
Takana Evo 8
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM August 21, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday August 22, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM September 4, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM September 18, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday September 26, 2004 Homestead Miami Speedway (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 2, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 16, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday October 24, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 30, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM November 13, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM November 27, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday November 28, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
Post up!!!!!!
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***SSKILLA's B-Day Party*** Unknown where it going to be! Friday August 13, 2004
Dr Evo
Elemental Evo
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***NOPI*** Sunday August 15, 2004 Moroso MotorSports Park, Meeting at Pembroke Lakes Mall at 7-7:30AM leaving the mall at 8AM(This one I have to put together so the more ppl that actually want to participate, the better! This way I can ask them for a spot before we even go and tell them to hold it for us!!
2004 NOPI Drag Racing Series Schedule:
Saturday
8:00am Contestant and Vendor Gates Open
Pro Pits and Show Registration Open
8:30am
9:00am USAC and db Drags Sound Open
9:30am
10:00am Manufacturers Midway Opens
Spectator Gates Open
10:30am NDRA Tech Opens
11:00am
11:30am
12:00pm Music, DJ's and Games (Main Stage)
NOPI Open Session Drag Racing
12:30pm
1:00pm
1:30pm
2:00pm 1st Round Pro Qualifying
2:30pm 1st Round Swimsuit Competition
3:00pm
3:30pm 1st Round Sportsman Qualifing
4:00pm Street Racing Open Session
4:30pm
5:00pm Burnout Contest
5:30pm NDRA 2nd Round Pro Qualifying
6:00pm
6:30pm Casting Call: NOPI TunerVision NOPI Model Search
2nd Round Sportsman Class Qualifying
7:00pm 2nd Round Swimsuit Competition
7:30pm NOPI NIGHTS Street Drags
NOPI After Dark Party w/JBird
NOPI Freak Show Foam Party
Open Mic
Jello Wrestling
8:00pm NOPI Light The Night Neon Competition
8:30pm
9:00pm
9:30pm
10:00pm End of Racing
10:30pm
11:00pm Event Closes
11:30pm
12:00am Secure Track
Sunday
8:00am Contestant and Vendor Gates Open
8:30am
9:00am NDRA Tech Opens
Fast Tracks NDRA Church Service
9:30am
10:00am Spectator Gates Open
10:30am Final Round Pro Qualifying
11:00am Final Round Sportsman Qualifying
Music, Djs & Games (Main Stage)
11:30am
12:00pm Open Session Street Racing
12:30pm
1:00pm 1st Round Pro & Sportsman Eliminations (if field exceeds 8 Cars)
1:30pm 1st Round Eliminations: Pro, Sportsman & Street Classes
2:00pm
2:30pm
3:00pm 2nd Round Eliminations: Pro, Sportsman & Street Classes
3:30pm Casting Call: NOPI TunerVision
Burnout Contest
4:00pm Finals: Swimsuit Contest
4:45pm
5:00pm FINAL Eliminations in All Classes
5:30pm NDRA Awards: All Classes
5:45pm NOPI NATIONALS Series 2004 Show Awards
6:00pm
2004 NOPI Drag Racing Series Pricing:
NDRA Memberships:
NDRA Membership Includes membership, membership card, stickers - $25.00
Deluxe NDRA Membership:
Includes membership, membership card, stickers, official NDRA Shirt, special membership pricing on NOPI Merchandise - $50.00
Race Entry:
Pro Class - Two Day Pass (driver and two crew members) - $65.00
Street Racer - Two Day Pass (driver and car only) - $65.00
Open Session Saturday (driver and car only) - $35.00
Car Show:
Show Contestant (driver and passenger) -$65.00
Additional show classes (Burnout, Sound Quality, SPL, etc) - $30.00
Admissions:
Weekend Pass - $40.00
Single Day Pass - $25.00
Children (6-12) - $5.00
Children under 6 - free
**According to NOPI website**
__________________________________________________ _______________
Dr Evo
Elemental Evo
EVO_ATE_U
Ghost22
gtlimer
Jonasan50
LoboEvo
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
Takana Evo 8
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM August 21, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday August 22, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM September 4, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM September 18, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday September 26, 2004 Homestead Miami Speedway (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 2, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 16, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday October 24, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM October 30, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM November 13, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***TEMEVO/SFL Meeting*** Dolphin Mall 10:00PM November 27, 2004
benzelite27
Elemental Evo
Jonasan50
PRVRT
Rudy
Scooter
SSKILLA
***AutoX*** Sunday November 28, 2004 Hialeah Park (You need a helmet [Brain Bucket] if you are going to participate in this event!) More info at: http://autox.carlc.com/
PRVRT (tentative)
Elemental Evo
Scooter
Post up!!!!!!
Evolving Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 405
Likes: 0
From: Miami
GOOD MORNING ALL!!!!!! 
I know I haven't been on all week, but I took the week off for vacation! I am back!!! Let the post whoring begin!!!
Mephisto - Thanx for the help while I was away!!! Thanks for keeping everyone in line!!!! Now stopp looking for an excuse to be post whoring!!!! 
Scooter & Lady B. - Thanks for everything this weekend! Had a great time!!!
Jon - This weekend I will bring money to get more stickers!!! How is the family doing???
Rudy - How is everything!!
Ghost22 & GSG - Whats up?!?!?!
EVO_ATE_U - Whats up bro?!?!?!? Your welcome and I am glad to be the pit crew!!!! I will be at the next AutoX!!
gtlimer - How is the job??? And how is the wifey???
Lobo - Sorry I didn't get back to you! I am glad Scooter did!!! How is everything and the wife??
Chris - Damn you have been posting more than I have lately!!! 
Good to hear you are running again! Congrats on the time!!! I hope to see you more and if you have anything you want to ask I am happy to help!!!
gabesir - Glad to see you made it to the forums! I took a couple of pictures of your RS I hope to see them posted soon!!!! Glad to have met you!!! We have some pix!! Soon to be posted!!!
VW - Whats up!!!
Anyone else I forgot, sorry!!! Bottom of the hill!!!Happy Monday!!!
Please post up if you are going to NOPI!!! After the Aug. 7 I am making my list! So start posting if you are not on the list yet!
Have a great day!!!
See Ya L8r!!!!!
I know I haven't been on all week, but I took the week off for vacation! I am back!!! Let the post whoring begin!!!
Mephisto - Thanx for the help while I was away!!! Thanks for keeping everyone in line!!!!
Now stopp looking for an excuse to be post whoring!!!! Scooter & Lady B. - Thanks for everything this weekend! Had a great time!!!
Jon - This weekend I will bring money to get more stickers!!! How is the family doing???
Rudy - How is everything!!
Ghost22 & GSG - Whats up?!?!?!
EVO_ATE_U - Whats up bro?!?!?!? Your welcome and I am glad to be the pit crew!!!! I will be at the next AutoX!!
gtlimer - How is the job??? And how is the wifey???
Lobo - Sorry I didn't get back to you! I am glad Scooter did!!! How is everything and the wife??
Chris - Damn you have been posting more than I have lately!!!
Good to hear you are running again! Congrats on the time!!! I hope to see you more and if you have anything you want to ask I am happy to help!!!gabesir - Glad to see you made it to the forums! I took a couple of pictures of your RS I hope to see them posted soon!!!! Glad to have met you!!! We have some pix!! Soon to be posted!!!
VW - Whats up!!!
Anyone else I forgot, sorry!!! Bottom of the hill!!!Happy Monday!!!
Please post up if you are going to NOPI!!! After the Aug. 7 I am making my list! So start posting if you are not on the list yet!
Have a great day!!!
See Ya L8r!!!!!
Evolving Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 100
Likes: 0
From: Jupiter
I was running some old Hoosiers. I was so close that I bolted them on the night before and drove up on them. Only problem was some rain on the way back.I didn't see any other evos or Mitsubishis for that matter, though
Originally Posted by fastmarsh
I was running some old Hoosiers. I was so close that I bolted them on the night before and drove up on them. Only problem was some rain on the way back.I didn't see any other evos or Mitsubishis for that matter, though
. I ran a 34.3 and Kiko had like a 30.9 I think. I'm on 225 Falken's though and nothing else, still the crap alignment that it came off the boat with. Rich Cowell got within .014 of Kiko in the 996. I'm trying to figure out which would be more competitive, being in AS with crap tires, or being in STU with no mods.
