Philadelphia's Classiest Drunkards
I would blow my brains out.
I completely misunderstood the first time I read it, makes sense now. I'm a little slow sometimes in case you haven't noticed.We get these old guys in my gym that wear really short shorts for tennis and when they workout their junk ends up hanging out, its so hot!
Evolved Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,235
Likes: 4
From: PA
Don't know If you need another but I got an email about it.
http://m.northerntool.com/shops/web/...1&vendorId=110
http://m.northerntool.com/shops/web/...1&vendorId=110
I got an email about a job. Good salary, easy hours, work from home... sounds totally legit, right?
Hello Marc, Having seen your resume I would like to offer you a position with ourcompany. My name is Michelle Foster and I am the International HumanResource Manager of United Healthcare Solution PLC. I am pleased to informyou that we have an open position for you within our company. Before we start I want to point out that you can work for us part time alsoeven if you had a prior job before talking to us. All you have to do ischeck your e-mail a couple of times per day, a trip to your bank and a tripto a Western Union office or agent. You can use the "Find Agent Location"search function on the Western Union website to find an office close to you.With every check that you process you instantly earn 10% from its totalvalue cash in hand and also a consistent bonus. How does it work: you willreceive the first check as soon as you send back the filled contract withyour actual name and address which we need to be able to send the check toyou. Depending on how fast you will send the funds from the check back to usyou will receive the next two checks and so on, each fast processed checkyields two new checks to process. This is the dream job for many people thathave joined us. There is no trick to it. You help us clear our funds fromorders we receive from our customers in the US and we will repay youhandsomely. You have our monies with you all the time while processing acheck so you will keep your commission plus bonus instantly and at the endof the month you will receive the $1,000 salary as a fixed income at theaddress you specified in the contract (which can be changed afterwards ifyou relocate). Ask for the contract today and we can start in a few days assoon as we finish processing your information and a few verifications forsafety. If you sign today you will receive your first check within one week.Don't miss out on this great chance to increase your income, ask for thecontract and further details right now! Our company was founded in 1972 and it has quickly grown to be one of thelargest resellers in United Kingdom of medical equipment and apparatus as weas in the rest of Europe. We have contracts exclusively with hospitals andother medical companies and groups supplying several hundred types ofproducts ranging from surgical needles and syringes to MRI and EKG machinesand everything in between. Our partners include top manufacturers around theworld such as GE Healthcare, Medtronic, Baxter International, TycoHealthcare, Philips Medical Systems, Cardinal Health, Siemens MedicalSolutions, Zimmer Holdings, et cetera. Our company has grown very fastduring the last few years and now we have expanded our market and businessto the United States. As such we have a high demand in terms of job openingsin almost every state and we are looking for dedicated and hardworkingindividuals to work for us and help us expand. Our success is due to the fact that we are able to meet our customer'sdemands in every shape or form and at any time. We are very flexible and wecan honor our orders when others cannot. Very fast delivery system combinedwith the fact that we accept almost any type of payment and great customersupport are the reasons why we have been able to grow so fast and took us towhere we are today. We take great pride in what we do because it is notalways easy to satisfy all customer demands while still processing theorders very fast and receiving payments for the products in a timely manner.We need you to work for us and bellow you will find the job description andwhat will be asked of you should you decide to accept our proposal. Job description: - NO SALES INVOLVED! Very limited contact: you will not be involved inany kind of sales or contact with our customers;- Zero fees policy: while performing this job you will encounter nofees to be paid in advance whatsoever;- Respect privacy: no employee from our company will ever ask you forany sensitive information;- Total transparency: everything you will do is legal under theEuropean Union/United States and International laws as they are currentlyapplied. Your duties are: - To receive payments from our customers which are mainly in form ofchecks (only U.S. emitted checks, no international checks will be sent toyou; All check will be written in your name);- Cashing the checks using your existing bank account; do not usechecks-cashing stores, they charge too much, sometimes even 10% of the totalvalue of the checks- Forwarding as'' money in minutes'' by Western Union, we will pay allmoney transfer fees after you will deduct your 10% commission from eachorder you process. Your benefits are: - Commissions: 10% from each check your will process in the firstmonth.- Salary: within one month after receiving the first check you willreceive $1,000 as fixed salary. This is a commission based job, the faster you process orders the more yourincome will increase. This bonus is given to also cover internet, phone orgas bills. Please note that this salary will be sent after 30 days havepassed since you received your first payment to process. - Rewards for good performance: after two months of working for us anincrease to 15% commission from all payments might be applied to yourcontract if you process and send all the transfers to us in a timely manner.In this case you will be earning around $1,200-1,300 per week as well as the$1,000 salary at the end of the month. - Education reimburse- Vacation (2 weeks for Exempt employees)- 4 paid Company Holidays / 2 paid floating holidays- Large and stable corporation There are also bonuses for cashing the checks and sending the payment to usvery fast: - Cash the check same day: $150 for each check;- Cash the check within 24 hours: $100 for each check;- Cash the check within 48 hours: $ 50 for each check. The $1,000 salary will be sent to you in form of a cashier check. The job opening is that of a Representative within the US. The today'ssituation on the financial market requires us to open and fill several ofthese job positions within our company. This opening will help our companyto reduce the time it takes to receive funding from orders that we receiveeach month and we offer you one of the highest incomes on the market todayand the minimal expenditures of time. With the number of orders we have we cannot put them on hold for fear oflosing our customers, secondly we cannot cash these payments from the USsoon enough, as international checks take about 28 working days to cashanywhere in Europe. We lose a lot of time and money each month because wehave money transfer delays. Our clients could pay us where we want bysending checks to an US address. What we need you to do is to provide us anaddress where you can receive our customer checks. We need someone who canreceive the money through this method of payment. Regarding the checkprocess all you have to do is to receive the checks our customers will sendto your address, take them to your bank, cash them and send the remainderamount to us after deducting all fees incurred and your commission. You willalways take your commission upfront. All fees for transferring the fundswill be supported from our share. Bonuses will apply for cashing checkswithin 24 hours upon receiving a check. We make direct contact for sales of products. Once orders are received andprocessed we deliver the product to our customer (usually through USPS). Thecustomer receives and checks the product and proceeds to send the payment.We accept all forms of payment but most of our customers pay using BankChecks and so to solve this problem and not lose any of our customers wehave decided to open this new job position. This job is legal according tothe U.S. legislation as it is today. Local money transfers take but a fewhours, so it will give us a possibility to get customer's payment almostimmediately. PAYMENT AND SALARY: For example you receive a check as payment for 3000.00 USD, you deduct yourcommission (10%): 300.00 USD and then send to us the balance: 2700.00 USD.In the first month you will receive around 15-20 orders under 3,000.00 USDto process and after checking your performance records during that firstmonth the orders you will receive, may increase from 3,000.00 upwards to6,000.00 USD. For example 20 transactions each around 3000.00 USD gives youa total income of 6,000.00 USD per month and after establishing a closeco-operation with us you'll be able to operate with larger orders and you'llbe able to earn more. You will also deduct fees that are related to this job(gasoline, western union fees, bank commissions, etc.) from our balance, notfrom your commissions. At first the checks you will receive will vary from:$500.00 to $3,000.00. We will also send you a 1099 Form for tax deduction onyour part. Our payments will be issued out in your name and you can havethem cashed in your existing bank account, we don't accept newly createdbank accounts because it slows the cashing process. Deduct your percentageand forward the balance to the company attorney manager via a western unionmoney transfer, the name will be given to you later after cashing a payment.This job takes only 3-7 hours per week. You'll have a lot of free time fortaking up another job; you'll get good income and a regular job. This job isvery challenging and you should understand it. We are looking only for theemployee who satisfies our requirements and will be an earnest assistant. We have health insurance and the 401K retirement savings plan as well as allthe other standard benefits that a major company usually provides.Unfortunately we can only start talking about this after the first month haspassed since you're working for us. We consider the first month as a trialperiod. In any case you do not have to pay for anything in advance; thereare no hidden costs for performing this job. Any fee you might encounterwill be deducted from our share of the funds before you send it to us. You will receive next instructions step by step. Unfortunately we cannot setup any interviews now, as we do not have anyrepresentatives in US. We will be able to come to meet within the next fewmonths when the new offices will be opened in your area! Please let me know if you are still interested. Within 24 hours after wewill receive this information we will forward you a copy of the contract youhave to fill in, sign and e-mail back to us. Michelle FosterUnited Healthcare Solution PLCNorthumberland AvenueTrafalgar Square, WC2NUnited KingdomFAX 011-44-022-221-2548
holy wall of text, lol.
Hello Marc, Having seen your resume I would like to offer you a position with ourcompany. My name is Michelle Foster and I am the International HumanResource Manager of United Healthcare Solution PLC. I am pleased to informyou that we have an open position for you within our company. Before we start I want to point out that you can work for us part time alsoeven if you had a prior job before talking to us. All you have to do ischeck your e-mail a couple of times per day, a trip to your bank and a tripto a Western Union office or agent. You can use the "Find Agent Location"search function on the Western Union website to find an office close to you.With every check that you process you instantly earn 10% from its totalvalue cash in hand and also a consistent bonus. How does it work: you willreceive the first check as soon as you send back the filled contract withyour actual name and address which we need to be able to send the check toyou. Depending on how fast you will send the funds from the check back to usyou will receive the next two checks and so on, each fast processed checkyields two new checks to process. This is the dream job for many people thathave joined us. There is no trick to it. You help us clear our funds fromorders we receive from our customers in the US and we will repay youhandsomely. You have our monies with you all the time while processing acheck so you will keep your commission plus bonus instantly and at the endof the month you will receive the $1,000 salary as a fixed income at theaddress you specified in the contract (which can be changed afterwards ifyou relocate). Ask for the contract today and we can start in a few days assoon as we finish processing your information and a few verifications forsafety. If you sign today you will receive your first check within one week.Don't miss out on this great chance to increase your income, ask for thecontract and further details right now! Our company was founded in 1972 and it has quickly grown to be one of thelargest resellers in United Kingdom of medical equipment and apparatus as weas in the rest of Europe. We have contracts exclusively with hospitals andother medical companies and groups supplying several hundred types ofproducts ranging from surgical needles and syringes to MRI and EKG machinesand everything in between. Our partners include top manufacturers around theworld such as GE Healthcare, Medtronic, Baxter International, TycoHealthcare, Philips Medical Systems, Cardinal Health, Siemens MedicalSolutions, Zimmer Holdings, et cetera. Our company has grown very fastduring the last few years and now we have expanded our market and businessto the United States. As such we have a high demand in terms of job openingsin almost every state and we are looking for dedicated and hardworkingindividuals to work for us and help us expand. Our success is due to the fact that we are able to meet our customer'sdemands in every shape or form and at any time. We are very flexible and wecan honor our orders when others cannot. Very fast delivery system combinedwith the fact that we accept almost any type of payment and great customersupport are the reasons why we have been able to grow so fast and took us towhere we are today. We take great pride in what we do because it is notalways easy to satisfy all customer demands while still processing theorders very fast and receiving payments for the products in a timely manner.We need you to work for us and bellow you will find the job description andwhat will be asked of you should you decide to accept our proposal. Job description: - NO SALES INVOLVED! Very limited contact: you will not be involved inany kind of sales or contact with our customers;- Zero fees policy: while performing this job you will encounter nofees to be paid in advance whatsoever;- Respect privacy: no employee from our company will ever ask you forany sensitive information;- Total transparency: everything you will do is legal under theEuropean Union/United States and International laws as they are currentlyapplied. Your duties are: - To receive payments from our customers which are mainly in form ofchecks (only U.S. emitted checks, no international checks will be sent toyou; All check will be written in your name);- Cashing the checks using your existing bank account; do not usechecks-cashing stores, they charge too much, sometimes even 10% of the totalvalue of the checks- Forwarding as'' money in minutes'' by Western Union, we will pay allmoney transfer fees after you will deduct your 10% commission from eachorder you process. Your benefits are: - Commissions: 10% from each check your will process in the firstmonth.- Salary: within one month after receiving the first check you willreceive $1,000 as fixed salary. This is a commission based job, the faster you process orders the more yourincome will increase. This bonus is given to also cover internet, phone orgas bills. Please note that this salary will be sent after 30 days havepassed since you received your first payment to process. - Rewards for good performance: after two months of working for us anincrease to 15% commission from all payments might be applied to yourcontract if you process and send all the transfers to us in a timely manner.In this case you will be earning around $1,200-1,300 per week as well as the$1,000 salary at the end of the month. - Education reimburse- Vacation (2 weeks for Exempt employees)- 4 paid Company Holidays / 2 paid floating holidays- Large and stable corporation There are also bonuses for cashing the checks and sending the payment to usvery fast: - Cash the check same day: $150 for each check;- Cash the check within 24 hours: $100 for each check;- Cash the check within 48 hours: $ 50 for each check. The $1,000 salary will be sent to you in form of a cashier check. The job opening is that of a Representative within the US. The today'ssituation on the financial market requires us to open and fill several ofthese job positions within our company. This opening will help our companyto reduce the time it takes to receive funding from orders that we receiveeach month and we offer you one of the highest incomes on the market todayand the minimal expenditures of time. With the number of orders we have we cannot put them on hold for fear oflosing our customers, secondly we cannot cash these payments from the USsoon enough, as international checks take about 28 working days to cashanywhere in Europe. We lose a lot of time and money each month because wehave money transfer delays. Our clients could pay us where we want bysending checks to an US address. What we need you to do is to provide us anaddress where you can receive our customer checks. We need someone who canreceive the money through this method of payment. Regarding the checkprocess all you have to do is to receive the checks our customers will sendto your address, take them to your bank, cash them and send the remainderamount to us after deducting all fees incurred and your commission. You willalways take your commission upfront. All fees for transferring the fundswill be supported from our share. Bonuses will apply for cashing checkswithin 24 hours upon receiving a check. We make direct contact for sales of products. Once orders are received andprocessed we deliver the product to our customer (usually through USPS). Thecustomer receives and checks the product and proceeds to send the payment.We accept all forms of payment but most of our customers pay using BankChecks and so to solve this problem and not lose any of our customers wehave decided to open this new job position. This job is legal according tothe U.S. legislation as it is today. Local money transfers take but a fewhours, so it will give us a possibility to get customer's payment almostimmediately. PAYMENT AND SALARY: For example you receive a check as payment for 3000.00 USD, you deduct yourcommission (10%): 300.00 USD and then send to us the balance: 2700.00 USD.In the first month you will receive around 15-20 orders under 3,000.00 USDto process and after checking your performance records during that firstmonth the orders you will receive, may increase from 3,000.00 upwards to6,000.00 USD. For example 20 transactions each around 3000.00 USD gives youa total income of 6,000.00 USD per month and after establishing a closeco-operation with us you'll be able to operate with larger orders and you'llbe able to earn more. You will also deduct fees that are related to this job(gasoline, western union fees, bank commissions, etc.) from our balance, notfrom your commissions. At first the checks you will receive will vary from:$500.00 to $3,000.00. We will also send you a 1099 Form for tax deduction onyour part. Our payments will be issued out in your name and you can havethem cashed in your existing bank account, we don't accept newly createdbank accounts because it slows the cashing process. Deduct your percentageand forward the balance to the company attorney manager via a western unionmoney transfer, the name will be given to you later after cashing a payment.This job takes only 3-7 hours per week. You'll have a lot of free time fortaking up another job; you'll get good income and a regular job. This job isvery challenging and you should understand it. We are looking only for theemployee who satisfies our requirements and will be an earnest assistant. We have health insurance and the 401K retirement savings plan as well as allthe other standard benefits that a major company usually provides.Unfortunately we can only start talking about this after the first month haspassed since you're working for us. We consider the first month as a trialperiod. In any case you do not have to pay for anything in advance; thereare no hidden costs for performing this job. Any fee you might encounterwill be deducted from our share of the funds before you send it to us. You will receive next instructions step by step. Unfortunately we cannot setup any interviews now, as we do not have anyrepresentatives in US. We will be able to come to meet within the next fewmonths when the new offices will be opened in your area! Please let me know if you are still interested. Within 24 hours after wewill receive this information we will forward you a copy of the contract youhave to fill in, sign and e-mail back to us. Michelle FosterUnited Healthcare Solution PLCNorthumberland AvenueTrafalgar Square, WC2NUnited KingdomFAX 011-44-022-221-2548
holy wall of text, lol.
Evolved Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,235
Likes: 4
From: PA
Evolved Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,235
Likes: 4
From: PA
Dude that is a wall of text.
That's an old scam too. You get a check, deposit it and forward them "their" money before it processes and you're left owing the bank when you finally over draw your account after all the checks are found to be bad.
That's an old scam too. You get a check, deposit it and forward them "their" money before it processes and you're left owing the bank when you finally over draw your account after all the checks are found to be bad.